The very snooty way women in San Francisco, the city with America's oldest moms, treat younger mothers

With the mean first-time ma successful San Francisco present pushing 34 years of age, younger mothers successful the snooty metropolis accidental they're being met with judgment, side-eyes, and a full batch of soundlessness connected the playground.

The westbound seashore enclave has emerged arsenic the U.S. metropolis with the highest mean property for first-time mothers, reaching 33.6 years successful 2023 — conscionable shy of 'geriatric pregnancy' property of 35 and good supra the nationalist mean of 29.6.

In adjacent Marin County the mean property is conscionable somewhat little astatine 33.5, according to caller nationalist wellness information from the U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention.

This mirrors a broader demographic displacement crossed the Bay Area, wherever precocious surviving costs, demanding careers, and expanding entree to fertility treatments person led galore women to hold having children.

Casandra Juarez, who was conscionable 22 erstwhile she gave birth, was taken aback erstwhile different ma astatine a Berkeley babe yoga people reacted with daze astatine her comparatively young age. 

'Oh my God, what happened?' she said the pistillate asked. 'That was the infinitesimal wherever I was like, "Oh, my God, it is not going to beryllium casual uncovering friends",' Juarez said, adding it was a caller mode of asking the aged question of whether her girl was an accident. 'It made maine consciousness truly uncomfortable... I ne'er went back.'

Only 17 percent of first-time mothers successful San Francisco were successful their 20s successful 2023, the lowest stock of immoderate U.S. county. 

Meanwhile, commencement rates successful the metropolis inched up somewhat successful 2024, with astir 6,870 births compared to 6,790 the erstwhile year—a emergence driven mostly by foreign-born mothers, portion births to U.S.-born women continued to decline.

While delayed motherhood tin connection advantages—such arsenic fiscal stableness and vocation growth—it has besides contributed to a quiescent crisis: younger mothers successful the portion are feeling isolated and retired of place. 

Postpartum depression (PPD) affects 10 percent to 20 percent of caller mothers nationwide, but among low-income women, that complaint tin scope arsenic precocious arsenic 48 percent. 

The spread successful property and manner betwixt younger and older moms tin heighten feelings of exclusion and marque enactment harder to find.

To amended recognize this experience, The San Francisco Standard interviewed respective young women raising children successful the region. 

Their stories uncover a communal thread: loneliness, judgment, and the quiescent difficulties of parenting successful a spot wherever they often consciousness similar outliers.

Arrieanna Martinez, present 32, besides became a ma astatine 22. After 2 children and a divorce, she moved to San Mateo to prosecute a bachelor's grade and enactment arsenic a doula. 

She told the Standard she often feels the opposition betwixt her ain travel and that of her peers. 

'You had your 20s to party, you got joined … you built your career, and present you're conscionable acceptable to beryllium this astonishing parent. When you person that property gap, it tin look similar you're not the champion ma you tin be.'

Shauna Gamble, 30, a azygous parent successful Marin County, told the Standard she often feels judged successful parenting groups—especially erstwhile she admits to allowing surface time. 

'They deliberation they're amended parents than me,' she told the Standard. 'I consciousness the judgement of, I benignant of winged this. They person been preparing for this.'

Aubriahna Chaves, 29, relocated from Seattle to San Francisco and has yet to marque a azygous person her age.

She remembered walking into her daughter’s simple schoolhouse for a back-to-school lawsuit and instantly feeling retired of place. 

'Walking into the auditorium was like, 'OK, I don't spot anybody my age, but that's OK,' she told the Standard. 'I haven't made 1 person to spell and bent retired with anytime.'

And Blanca Aguilar, 28, drops disconnected her 7-year-old lad astatine schoolhouse successful San Ramon and watches from the sidelines arsenic older parents mingle. 

'I don't person cipher to chitchat with,' she told the Standard. 'I consciousness similar I volition beryllium the 1 who stands retired due to the fact that I americium the youngest one.'