On 'No Worries If Not,' Riki Lindhome rewrites her hero's journey to motherhood

Riki Lindhome ne'er intended to spell solo. Since 2007, the comedian, histrion and instrumentalist has performed arsenic 1 fractional of Garfunkel and Oates, a raunchy drama duo besides starring Kate Micucci. But arsenic the COVID epoch acceptable in, Micucci became a caller ma and started penning children’s music, and Lindhome began to reevaluate her ain path. At first, she felt frightened. But Lindhome is, by her ain admission, people predisposed to find the affirmative successful everything.

“Before, it had to beryllium thing that was existent to some of us,” Lindhome told The Times. “So I started thinking, ‘What lone applies to me?’”

The reply turned retired to beryllium close successful beforehand of her. Now 46, Lindhome, who started acting professionally successful the aboriginal 2000s with spot roles successful “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Gilmore Girls” and has since appeared connected “The Big Bang Theory,” “New Girl” and “Wednesday,” had been connected a yearslong, often demoralizing fertility journey.

It started erstwhile she was 34 and decided to frost her eggs, an acquisition Lindhome chronicled successful opus (the Emmy-nominated “Frozen Lullaby”) and connected Garfunkel and Oates’ eponymous IFC show, which ran for 1 play successful 2014. “I deliberation we were the archetypal amusement to bash realistic egg-freezing storylines with the shots and stuff,” she says. “There are truthful galore aesculapian shows, but [we] couldn’t find the shots for IVF astatine the prop house. Our prop radical had to marque them from the pictures I took of my IVF drugs.”

Lindhome ended up penning the remainder of her fertility communicative into a one-woman musical, “Dead Inside,” which premiered astatine past year’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival and has presently been moving connected a semi-monthly ground astatine the Elysian Theater successful L.A. As she workshopped the amusement astir drama clubs and tiny stages, Lindhome besides realized she had a solo drama grounds connected her hands; now, her debut album, “No Worries If Not,” came retired connected April 4.

Across its 11 tracks, which diagnostic contributions from Fred Armisen (Lindhome’s hubby since 2022), Nicole Row, Eric Jackowitz and accumulation trio Polyglam, Lindhome traces her maze-like “hero’s journey” to motherhood portion poking amusive astatine different quadragenarian quandaries. For instance, connected the Barry White-styled “Middle Age Love,” Lindhome jokes astir enactment aft 40 (“F— maine similar an animal, if that animal’s a turtle / You tin c— wrong me, it’s OK — I’m infertile”). Elsewhere, connected “Don’t Google Mommy,” Lindhome imagines her aboriginal kid Internet-stalking her 1 time (“Because mommy writes drama songs that are a teensy spot obscene”).

Lindhome besides includes a fewer songs that didn’t marque it into “Dead Inside” — “90 Percent Sure,” a back-and-forth duet with chap comedian Ken Marino, looks backmost astatine the comedian’s breakup with an unnamed ex-boyfriend. After trying to conceive naturally, experiencing a miscarriage and spending thousands connected a fewer failed attempts astatine IVF, Lindhome and her ex parted ways erstwhile helium told her that helium wasn’t up for having much children. (Lindhome’s ex had 2 children from a erstwhile relationship.) “[My ex] said that helium was lone 90 percent definite helium wanted to person a babe and helium deserved to beryllium 100 percent,” Lindhome says. “So I wrote a opus astir each the things that I’m lone 90 percent definite I’m going to bash to him. But don’t worry, due to the fact that it’s not 100, truthful it could ne'er happen!” Meanwhile, connected “Infertile Princess,” Lindhome adopts the lens of a Disney heroine: “Pocahontas got large conscionable by talking to a histrion … If I was similar Ariel, I’d beryllium fine, due to the fact that she makes 20,000 eggs astatine a time.”

While Lindhome solo retains her trademark singsong, sweet-and-sour delivery, the themes wrong her enactment person deepened to bespeak a much analyzable signifier of life. For instance, Garfunkel and Oates wrote expletive-laced, satirical popular ditties astir atrocious and embarrassing sex, spiritual “loopholes” (IYKYK) and self-satisfied large women, among different things. But Lindhome takes the look 1 measurement further by getting ultra-candid (but nary little acerbic) astir the societal isolation astir trying – and failing – to conceive.

“There’s truthful overmuch blaming,” she says. “When I was going done each of my stuff, a batch of people’s archetypal absorption was to springiness maine advice. Like, here’s what you’re doing wrong. Despite their champion intentions, they were making maine consciousness similar it was my fault. That should not beryllium it. Your archetypal absorption should be, ‘I’m atrocious that’s happening. How are you?’

“I was feeling truthful overwhelmed [by the advice] that I stopped telling radical what was happening,” Lindhome continues. “Then I felt ace isolated. I’m like, wherever is the mediate ground? From that point, I was like, ‘I garbage to beryllium ashamed astir this.’”

As she prepared to debut “Dead Inside,” Lindhome remained uncertain that it oregon its accompanying medium would link with audiences who had not undergone fertility struggles. That’s wherefore she called the medium “No Worries If Not.” “My aged euphony was much crowd-pleasery, not successful a atrocious way. It was conscionable for much people,” she says. “And this 1 is astir menopause and fertility trauma — specified specified things that [I feel], like, ‘If you don’t similar it, I get it!’”

Much to her surprise, however, a scope of audiences responded to “Dead Inside” and its euphony with overwhelmingly affirmative feedback. “When I started [performing] successful Edinburgh, I was a small taken aback astatine first, due to the fact that it would beryllium a batch of women sharing their experience, and I was precise touched,” Lindhome says. “And it was raining each the time. So I ever recovered myself lasting successful the rain, hugging and crying with people.”

What’s more, Lindhome has been fascinated to larn however audiences she ne'er expected to subordinate person connected to the material. “[A] fig of consecutive men without kids who felt included successful this were like, ‘I recognize the feeling of not having accusation and not knowing my mode out.’ And I’m like, ‘Oh, right, that is universal.’ I’m talking astir it successful a fertility sense, but everyone feels similar determination is immoderate cardinal that they don’t have, that they can’t get done the doorway they request to.”

Lindhome’s idiosyncratic communicative has a blessed ending, too. In March 2022, Lindhome welcomed a son, Keaton, via surrogacy and a donated sperm and egg. And portion she afloat expected to beryllium a azygous mom, she reconnected with an aged friend, Fred Armisen, portion filming Netflix’s “Wednesday” successful Romania. The summertime aft Keaton was born, they got married.

“My beingness changed truthful overmuch truthful quickly,” Lindhome says. “It was comic due to the fact that erstwhile I fell successful emotion connected acceptable and had a babe and each this worldly happened astatine the aforesaid time, I was like, ‘This was truthful fast.’ And my “Wednesday” costar Jamie McShane was like, ‘Well, if you look astatine the physics principles, you mislaid everything successful a time and you gained everything successful 2 weeks. It’s equal-opposite reactions. This is really the close cadence for you, scientifically.”

Looking ahead, Lindhome is inactive tweaking “Dead Inside,” which she wants astatine slightest different twelvemonth to develop. (“Dead Inside” volition tally successful New York connected April 3; Austin connected April 12; and backmost successful L.A. connected April 23.) “Things alteration each performance,” Lindhome says. “I privation much clip to marque it happen. My extremity would beryllium to bash an off-Broadway oregon off-off-Broadway run. Then aft that, possibly deliberation astir trying to movie it.”

For now, Lindhome hopes “No Worries If Not” volition assistance radical to laughter astir the things that are extracurricular of their control. “I anticipation radical consciousness seen,” she says. “When I perceive to drama music, I conscionable privation to person a bully time. And past if they travel to spot the show, I privation them to consciousness little alone, particularly women who’ve gone done that stuff. I privation them to consciousness similar it’s not your fault. I deliberation that’s existent with astir things successful life. So overmuch is luck … But you conscionable support going.”